Ghost Malone's DEFCON 1 Self-Care Survival Guide: Part 1

As I mentioned in my last post, I have a bit of background in personal development. My day job is writing a blog for a personal development app. I mostly do self-help book summaries these days but I’ve written articles about everything from cognitive behavioral therapy to the nutritional virtues of bananas. Really.

One thing that’s awesome about writing for a personal development company is that you learn a lot about… well, personal development. This couldn’t have come at a better time for me, who upon gaining this job was fresh out of college and, frankly, not developing personally. I felt lost and stuck and, in true scientist fashion, began testing everything I wrote about on myself. I’ve tried all the hippy-dippy self-help advice from all the hippy-dippy self-help books. I sifted through tons of dirt to extract nuggets of insight profound enough to be worth the trouble. And I discovered that I don’t really like bananas. It’s a texture thing.

Most importantly, however, I’ve learned—or at least am learning—how to deal with what I call the Pit of Despair. I think everyone has one, though the feelings it evokes might vary from person to person. Having been dealing with my own mental health demons for most of my post-pubescent life, I’m intimately familiar with my own Pit of Despair. It feels like being trapped at the bottom of my emotional well. It’s dark and dirty and smelly and there’s no way out. Not even passersby to hail for help. Not even Lassie.

The thing is, though, is that there is a way out of the Pit. It’s not always easy but it can be done. You might fall back in again (I do on the regular honestly) but climbing out will get easier with practice. So will making sure you have tools and a plan in place when you do.

This post is the first of a several-part series I’ll be writing (because I’m too wordy as it is and I’d hate to make you read like 5000 words all at once) on how to do just that. I’m calling it the DEFCON 1 Self-Care Survival Guide because chances are, if you’re here reading this, your personal alert system is either at DEFCON 1, or it should be. You, like me so many times before, may have found yourself face-first at the bottom of your emotional well and are sensing no way out. I hope with this post to roll you onto your back and show you the sky above because it’s out there.

We’re going to be tapping into your Lizard Brain this week. I’m going right to the absolute basics. If you’re starting from absolute zero, this is the post for you. If you want to feel better and climb out of your PoD, the following four items are required. Learn them. Study them. Love them. Appease the Lizard Brain.

Fluids

You will notice here that I do not say “water.” Water is one of the best things you can do for your body that requires virtually no effort. It’s relatively easy to access and unlikely to make you sick when consuming it (although your mileage may vary in America). And whether you want to hear it or not, good hydration is the most basic survival skill you need in your toolkit. Dehydration kills in a matter of days. Your body is 60% water. You need water.

But here’s the rub: Water is boring. And some water is unpalatable at best and flat-out gross at worst. My aunt had well water that smelled and tasted like actual sewage. Some people have tap water so toxic they can light it on fire. I begrudge no one the right to refuse a glass.

Luckily, water exists in more than just its natural form. Broth or tea,¹ both hot and iced, are cheap, fantastic, and relatively non-threatening ways to get your hydration fix. Vegetable broth in particular can add some much-needed nutrition to your diet, which can be useful if you have no appetite or are having trouble keeping food down.

Look, I’m not your mom. It’s not my job to police what you put in your body (frankly, I can barely police myself most days). The cost/benefit analysis ultimately falls upon your shoulders. I’m not going to judge you if the only thing you can stomach is purple Kool-Aid or Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper.² You probably know as well as anyone that sugary drinks are not ideal. But it’s a hell of a lot better than drinking nothing at all and fucking dying.

The easiest way to tell if you’re hydrated is to check your urine. Aim for light yellow to clear. Anything darker than a glass of lemonade and you better drink up, punk.

Rest

This is one of those suggestions people who suffer from anxiety or burnout tend to balk at the most. As someone who’s been struggling with burnout since they graduated high school a decade ago, I sympathize. When you feel like you’re working 25 hours a day, 8 days a week and you’re still not getting by, being told to stop and do nothing is like being told to unplug your own life support machine.

I’m sorry to be that guy, but I have to be that guy. Unplug the life support machine. Go to bed.

The thing about sleep is it’s the one healthy habit that has no shortcuts. If you’re an average person—and believe it or not, most of us are—then you’re going to need seven to nine hours of nightly sleep. Sorry. Them’s the breaks.

There are ways to improve the quality of your sleep, though. Minimizing your exposure to blue light, which messes with your circadian rhythm, is both one way. Making sure your room is dark and devoid of distractions when it’s bedtime is another way. Finally, try to minimize the number of things you do in your bed. Beds should be for sleep and sex. Or, if you don’t do sex, feel free to substitute with cuddling stuffed animals, listening to soothing podcasts, or meditating.

If you’re still tired when you wake up after 9+ hours of sleep or sleeping during the day, there might be something more sinister at play. It could be a sleep disorder. It could also be a bad mattress. Both are worth looking into and, if possible, fixing. My grandpa Joe Courtney was a hardcore Tough Blue-Collar Manly Man, the kind that seemed to enjoy suffering. He hated a lot of things, especially spending money. But he always believed you should invest in a good pair of shoes and a good mattress, because if you’re not in one, you’re most likely in the other.

Nutrients

I’m going to use the same disclaimer I used above: I’m not your mom. Eat whatever won’t make you want to throw yourself off a bridge. But please eat something. Preferably protein and vegetables.

Protein will help you feel fuller for longer, which means you can eat less of it if your stomach is hurting or you’re queasy. Vegetables are not only nutrient-dense, they contain carbs, which your brain needs for functioning. A little bit of unsaturated fat, like an oil-based salad dressing or some kind of nut butter, will also help you feel full and make your brain happy.

But start where you are. Find the compromise between healthy and manageable. For me, that’s standard lunch fare: Soup, salads, and sandwiches. They’re the perfect union of easy for me and healthy.

Another thing that’s saved my bacon more than once is the almighty slow cooker. Between my volatile energy levels and having to share a trailer-sized kitchen with four other people, I rarely have both the time and ability to cook proper meals. However, I can easily sneak into the kitchen first thing in the morning, toss a bunch of ingredients that I prepped earlier into the slow cooker, and have a hot meal by the time I get home from whatever I have to do that day.

Finally, do what you can to avoid highly-processed foods. They’re easy and they last forever but they’re not going to make you feel any better. In fact, you’ll most likely still feel hungry. If you’re absolutely stuck with processed foods, try to add healthier supplements to them. Crack an egg into your instant ramen. Mix some salsa and taco meat into your Kraft mac and cheese. It doesn’t have to be Instagram-worthy. Hell, it doesn’t even have to look or sound appetizing. If it’s nourishing and you’ll eat it, that’s all that matters right now.

Company

I’m a pretty solitary person by nature. My social habits are not unlike a standard house cat’s. I’ll seek out attention when I want it and, when I feel I’ve received enough, will swat everyone away, retreat to my high shelf or cat tower, and judge whoever walks by from a safe and comfortable distance.

When I fall into a Pit of Despair, however, that quality amplifies itself a hundredfold. I don’t just retreat, I flat-out isolate. I won’t respond to people talking to me in-person. I’ll stop answering messages. I even have a hard time reading books because a real person had to write them and I don’t want to acknowledge that other people exist. For some reason, cognitive dissonance kicks in for video games. Maybe it’d be the reverse if I were a game designer.

Let me be clear here: Do as I say, not as I do. Isolation is unhealthy. Humans have evolved over tens of thousands of years to interact and cooperate with each other. It’s why solitary confinement is considered a form of torture. We need other people to be happy and well-adjusted. That’s a fact, Jack.

So, go find some. You don’t have to dump your feelings onto them (unless you want to and they wanna hear it). It doesn’t even have to be a meaningful conversation. Chat with your local Starbucks barista about the weather. Engage in friendly banter with strangers playing your favorite online game. Hell, shoot me a message on Twitter. Remind yourself that you’re not alone. Other people exist and even if we can’t fix your problems, we care about you. That’s a fact, too.

What Now?

For the very first time in Pro Creator history, I’m giving you homework, dear reader. Your homework is to work on these four elements of DEFCON 1 self-care to the best of your ability. Experiment with how to align these cornerstones of health with your lifestyle. Find the compromise. There is always an acceptable compromise. And you can always change as you change. Maybe all you can choke down is Gatorade and Cheez-its right now but that might not be true in three days. Keep experimenting. Figure out your hurdles and plan ways to jump over them.

I ask you to do this even if you aren’t currently at the bottom of your PoD. In fact, I suggest you do these things when you are feeling good, because that’s when you’re going to make habits out of them. Think about it like this: If you’re an athlete, you practice outside of games, right? Or maybe you’re an artist; presumably, you don’t just make professional work all the time, you practice your craft with life drawing or still life studies, yes? Because you know that training in a controlled setting will help you for the real thing later. The same thing applies to self-maintenance.

I’d like to leave you with a clip from the West Wing that I was thinking about as I wrote this blog post. Josh Lyman, the younger man in the clip, has recently suffered a traumatic experience, and during this episode he is diagnosed with PTSD. Leo, the older man, is a recovering alcoholic who had been nudging Josh toward recovery for a while. This clip takes place after Josh’s first therapy session.

Next week, we’ll move beyond the absolute bare minimum and into things that require more effort but also reap greater rewards. Until then, be good, and never stop creating.

Footnotes:

1: Fun fact, I almost started a blog about tea because I enjoy drinking it so much. I was going to review teas I could find at the grocery store (mostly my favorite brand, Celestial Seasonings) and post little history articles. But I didn’t have my heart in it and it never took off.

2: I worked with a woman who could only drink this when she was pregnant. Everything else made her sick. She was a woman obsessed, too.