If you’re not ready, though, don’t beat yourself up. Just keep handling Part 1 stuff and feel free to read this as a means of looking ahead. Getting better doesn’t happen overnight. Even the common cold stays with you for at least a week.
Once you’re fed, watered, and rested, you can start turning your attention to tackling things that actually feel as beneficial to your well-being as they are. It’s understandably hard to see how a glass of water can cure your depression (spoiler alert: It won’t because mental illness is more nuanced than that) but the activities I list below have measurable, quantifiable benefits to your health. They’re the next stepping stone out of the Pit and into Functioning Adult Land.
Easy Mode
The first batch of suggestions I’m making are things that cost relatively few spoons. Your mileage may vary regarding how much you can accomplish but the bare minimum versions are a perfectly fine start.レッツ スタート!
Good Hygiene
When you’re rolling in the dirt of your Pit of Despair, you could likely not give a single fuck about how you look or smell, and understandably so. You have more important things to worry about, after all, like not dying.But now that you’re beyond the tyranny of the moment, you might want to hop in the shower, because you probably do stink.
I’m not trying to say that you need to be prim and pressed at all times in order to be a functioning adult. As if! What I am saying, however, is that you’ll feel better after you rinse all that residual Pit of Despair grime off of you.
If showers are beyond you right now, find the middle ground. Wash your face and brush your teeth. Run a brush through your hair. Hell, hit your Tits, Pits, and Naughty Bits with a couple of baby wipes.1 Do what you can with what you have. That’s the lesson I really want you to take away from all this.
Stretching and Massages
You probably haven’t been moving around too much between all the resting I asked you to do and all the the time you had to spend in bed with The Sads™. That’s okay! Your body probably needed it. Taking time to get that rest is part of what all those hippie self-care gurus call listening to your body. You were tired, so you rested. Good job! |
| This isn't the pic I wanted but now that I know it exists it sure as hell is the pic you're getting. |
But you’re probably sore and stiff now. You might have even been sore and stiff before your rest period. That is also completely understandable.
Full-on exercise might be out of the question but I highly recommend you at least start moving your body around a little. Stretching is perfect for this; you don’t even have to leave your bed to get a couple good stretches in. I’d even also recommend massaging yourself to help loosen up all that stiffness.
Or, get someone else to massage you, I guess, if you’re of those fancy assholes with money or friends.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Artists and writers are especially susceptible to wrist and elbow problems due to the nature of our work! Please please please, for the love of Satan himself, make wrist stretches a regular part of your daily routine. I highly recommend starting with this Allegiance Health video that shows you a few basic moves. It’s part of a larger playlist that addresses all your joints, so if you have other joint discomfort-related needs, check out the other videos, too!
Hobbies
One of the worst obstacles I’ve faced while Freelancing While Sick is figuring out how to justify my personal time while knowing I could be working. I feel like I should be hustling 24/7 because I’m not in a financial position to slack, even for a second.But the “hustle or die” culture we live in is a bunch of unsustainable bullshit. It’s a mindset we’ve collectively cultivated due to everyone but a couple dozen people being completely fucked by the modern western economic model. All of us unlucky bastards are stuck scrambling for better and more efficient ways to get the few crumbs we’re offered while people like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos hoard more money than their entire family could reasonably spend in one lifetime like the crusty old (and white) (and male) dragons2 they are.
It’s cruel and unfair but this reality makes it that much more important that you carve out time for yourself. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: You need rest. Your body, your mind, and your spirit (or consciousness or whatever you wanna call it) all need time to unplug and decompress from the demands of your life, now more than ever.
So, do something you love. And fuck everyone who tries to stop you. Especially Jeff Bezos.
Meditation/Mindfulness
Let me stop you before you can fire up your angry comment soundboards. I’m not stupid and I assume you aren’t either. When I say you should consider meditating, I’m not saying it’s going to cure all your problems and I’m not saying it’s got anything to do with spirituality or mysticism or any bullshit like that.When I suggest meditation, I’m suggesting it from a psychological and physiological point of view. Taking deliberate time to relax your mind and focus on your breathing is good for you. And the best part of meditation is that it’s highly customizable. You can meditate in silence, to music, to a guided meditation program, or to the sound of your Tibetan singing bowl if you’re that person. If you have no idea where to start, I highly recommend Palouse’s 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course. It’s 900% free and will teach you everything you need to know.
If meditation specifically isn’t your bag, try just injecting some mindfulness into your everyday life. Try to put yourself into the present moment 100%. Engage all your senses the next time you do the dishes or work on an art project. The most important part of mindfulness is getting out of that dark corner of your mind where all the bad thoughts are and into a calmer, more productive mental space.
Expert Mode
For this tier, I’ll recommend things that might require more time, energy, and money than what may currently be at your disposal. If you can do these things, however, you absolutely should.Exercise
Our bodies were made to move. We evolved in the African savannah to walk and run long distances, swim across rivers, and throw rocks at predators. We needed those things to survive.The good news is we don’t really have to throw rocks to scare off threats anymore (though sometimes I wonder if we should start again). The bad news is your body still wants to move around on a fairly regular basis or it will get fat and sad. Trust me. I’m sedentary and I am also fat and sad. I also thought there was no way exercise would make me feel better emotionally until I tried it and it worked. Fuck me, right?
A hard but satisfying workout floods your body with feel-good hormones like dopamine, a powerful weapon in your fight against Despair. It also increases your overall health, which will make you feel physically better in the long run. How you choose to work out is up to you. Go for a run, lift some weights, or just dance around your room in your underwear while screaming along to Kim Petras songs. The best exercise routine is the one you’ll stick with. So do what you love.
Outside/Nature
Did you know the Japanese have a word for nature walks? They call it shinrin-yoku, or “forest bathing,” and the Japanese government popularized the practice in the late 80s to early 90s as a public health initiative.The simple fact is that spending time in nature is good for you. Tiptoeing through the tulips can lower your blood pressure, reduce the amount of stress hormones in your body, and even boost your immune system. All of which are magnificent stat boosts to your mental health.
But don’t be mindless about it. Don’t just get into nature, engage with it. Listen for birds. Smell the air. Take your time with it. And maybe knock back a couple of antihistamines before you go if you’re, like me, allergic to every plant and animal.
Medical Assistance
This is going to be another one of those instances where I suggest you do as I say and not as I do. When you’re suffering, getting medical help can be the most effective way to alleviate that suffering. A therapist can help you unravel all those bullshit thoughts in your head that are keeping you down. A psychiatrist can deduce the perfect cocktail of drugs to keep your brain chemistry on the up and up. Hell, even a routine visit from your primary care doctor might reveal an underlying physical health problem, like an underactive thyroid.So, if you have the means, please see a doctor, if for no other reason than I am not a doctor and can’t help you the way a medical professional can. Just because I have an experience-based distrust of the doctors in my particular area should not dismiss all the actually good doctors and nurses out there that genuinely want to help. It might take a while to find a doctor you feel comfortable with but try not to let that discourage you. Like finding the perfect Tumblr theme, it’ll be worth sorting through all the bullshit in the end.
What Now?
This concludes my DEFCON 1 Self-Care Survival Guide. Next week, I’ll be doing another roundup, this time of self-care resources that I personally use (or have used). Because I am both broke as hell and a cheap bastard, these resources will either be free or close to it.If there is only lesson you learn walking away from this guide, it’s that the quickest way to getting better is playing the hand you’re dealt to the best of your ability. There is no one-size-fits-all cure for mental illness because we are all unique in our circumstances and our problems. What works for me might be completely useless for you. The suggestions I’ve listed in this and last week’s posts are, in my experience, universally beneficial, but they’re only the beginning. Remember, this is DEFCON 1. This is the bare minimum you need to achieve basic human functioning. Beyond this point, your self-care needs are going to become highly individualistic. It’s also going to change over time.
Just remember to do your best with what you have. That’s the secret to getting better: focusing on what you can control and working within the guidelines set by the universe.
I’ll see you next week. Be good. Make art.
Footnotes:
1: I very recently found out that this is called an Ohio Shower and as an Ohioan I have never felt so seen and so called out at the same time.2: Leave it to rich old white dudes to somehow make dragons gross and uninteresting.
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